yasipedia #3: the spirituality of fake nails, Joy Division, and more
Sending this out Friday afternoon because
see yasipedia #1 for more on this topic.
I do currently have perfect nails however. This week in a McFlurry of anxiety and unwellness I dragged my bleary google doc eyes and the rest of my corporal form to an unnamed nail salon to get a fresh set of Gel X-tensions for serotonin purposes. (Actually I had gone the day before to another unnamed salon that I was cheating on my real salon with and as it goes I was punished severely with ugly, bumpy (???) nails that I then had to ask my original salon to please remove while I begged for their forgiveness). Anyway my new nails are extremely long, coffin shaped, and pink, and moreover, god did speak to me through them.
Here’s what happened. I was writing in my journal as I am wont to do in the early morning (outing myself as a “morning pages” girly, I know there’s other Artist’s Way heads out there, I see you and I validate you) and I found myself having a mini spiral about how much these new nails were limiting my range of motion and ability to do literally almost anything normally, like say the typing I do 8-12 hours a day for my job as a podcast servant. I was writing this spiral out very carefully because that’s the only way I can write with these bad boys and that’s when the Kylie Jenner level realization hit me: these nails are not just gorgeous but also a gift from god that will push me out of my normal approach to things, which is rushed, harried, screeching etc and force me to do thing more slowly, with more care and attention. God did speak to me though fake nails folks. Bono was right, those ways do be mysterious sometimes.
Anyway, onto the thing you actually care about, Joy Division:
BANDSPLAIN JOY DIVISON
A thing I don’t think many people think of when they think of Joy Division is that they were funny as hell. I know no one is like hmmm yes that story will be a laugh a minute, but aside from the obvious (and terrible) tragedy, a lot of the quotes from and stories about the band were fucking hilarious. They were great artists for sure but they were also four lad-bros who loved to drink pints and lol.
Anyway that being said here’s a little more flair from the Joy Divish episode:
Remember when their like 3rd or whatever drummer when they were Warsaw, Steve Brotherdale, left the band to join “Panik” and Hooky said this about him:
“Anyway, he went off to join the Panik and I barely saw him after that. He stayed around, because after the Panik he joined a band called V2. After V2 faded away, well, I went in a McDonald’s about ten years ago, ordered a quarter pounder (no ketchup, no cheese) and medium fries, and the guy serving me went ‘Hooky?’ And I went ‘Yeah?’ He said ‘Don’t you remember me? Steve Brotherdale.’ There he was. Let that be a lesson to you. The next I heard of him was in 2009 in the Manchester Evening News when he was banged up for stalking his ex-wife, sad to say.”
(See? Hilarious). I still think that McDonald’s order is UNHINGED mate. For those wondering, mine when I’m partying is a 6 piece chicken nuggets, a large fries, a large Diet Coke, a double quarter pounder with cheese, and as many containers of Hot Mustard sauce as I can scam out of the drive-thru.
Anyway Hooky was not lying - I did find the news article in the Macclesfield Express and it is full of insane details:
He:
A) repeatedly passed Ms Rochford’s flat on a bus during rush hour, and stared in through her windows as it passed.
B) sent Ms Rochford, 45, a trilogy of books he had written – up to 200 pages each – detailing his infatuation.
and:
C) The books had photos of Ms Rochford on the front depicted as an angel, and later with devil horns.
AND:
D) Brotherdale denied the allegations, claiming Ms Rochford had reported the breach to ‘make his life a misery’ and showed the court a tattoo on his arm that said "Gillian Brotherdale, 2005-2008, Hell on Earth".
I feel like now I can’t rest until I cause some man to get a tattoo about me that calls me a demon or some such thing. All due respect to Ms. Rochford.
SteveBro went to jail for 4 months and is out now and hopefully enjoyed the episode of the pod.
Here is that first ever Sex Pistols TV appearance on Tony Wilson’s show So It Goes.
Here is Joy Division’s first ever TV appearance, on Tony Wilson’s next show.
Here is an outtake from the photo shoot that yielded the photo of Ian Curtis that Kevin Cummins took while the rest of the band was trying to make him laugh that ended up on the cover of the NME
Here’s a really great little mini doc about Martin Hannett on Granada TV's regional arts series 'NWA' with Mark Radcliffe from 1996
Here’s what manager Rob Gretton looked like may he rest in peace.
Here’s what Peter Saville, Tony Wilson, and Alan Erasmus looked like.
Here are my favorite documented pranks and tom foolery perpetrated by the members of Joy Division:
-putting cornflakes in each other’s beds (classic but the best story is when Rob Gretton does it and to like cover his tracks he puts them in his own bed as well??? Like?? you still have to sleep there bruv)
-dropping 10 lbs of maggots onto the Buzzcocks whilst they were on stage (and then filling their tour bus with mice)
-Ian pissing in an ashtray in a hostel
-they smeared the door handles of A Certain Ratio’s minibus with marmalade and jam and then pelted them with eggs while they struggled with the slippery door handles
-there was something about Rob having dentures and the denture water being drank but I can’t find the exact details just know it was fucked up as hell
Anyway that’s all I got this week and it took me 40 hours to type this with my godly nails so goodbye.
Listen to the Joy Division episode of Bandsplain HERE and listen to the accompanying playlist HERE.
Next week…some lads from Basildon…my time with T. Swift…I’ll finally have had time to bathe in the new Lana…and more