Happy Friday. Before we get into the meat of this letter, a few announcements (tiny tiny trumpet):
Bandsplain is now on YouTube. It would mean a lot to me if you “liked and subscribed.” Right now there are like four episodes there, including the latest one, the Music Biopic Hall of Fame with Sean Fennessey, but all the back video episodes will eventually be up in there (including all six Madonna ones for those of you planning gay guy music video nights).
I’ll be in the UK later this month, in Edinburgh for a few days during Fringe (terrified of jugglers) and in London from August 25-31. This is primarily news for people who want to invite me to fun things or shower me in gifts or provide me a guest pass to their fancy gym. I’m also looking for a really great lymphatic massage. Email me! shaad D’Souza and I might throw a casual little pub hang or we might not, follow us on IG to be informed about that. Speaking of, it was my honor and pleasure to be the first subject in Shaad’s new Shaad Magazine (my favorite publication) column about etiquette.
That’s all for housekeeping. Let’s get to sadness.
I’d been wanting to do something about sad songs ever since I went on Rob Harvilla’s fabulous 60 Songs podcast to talk about one of my ultimate and most enduring crying songs, “Glycerine” by Bush. I’ve kept lists of songs to cry to for as long as I can remember; in college I recall typing one out into a Word document as a guide for my Napster activities (I get misty-eyed just thinking about it, the desktop PC and the dial-up). “Lady In Red” by Chris de Burgh was on that list and you know what, it still goes. I am normal and fine.
It just happened to work out perfectly that the reigning queen of sad songs, Phoebe Bridgers (but Lana! you scream and to you I say: Lana is the queen of sad-horny songs, they are certainly both reigning, sadness-wise), put out her long-awaited new album Lost Weekend today. I've cried to many Phoebe Bridgers songs over the years, and as a former shower beer aficionado, I've always felt quite seen by her. I think she's a brilliant lyricist and a deceptively great songwriter. I wasn't over the moon for the "Lost Boys" single (I find the chorus trite), but when I listened to the album this morning I was blown away. People are making a lot of the sonic innovations or explorations or whatever (which are cool!), but I think I'm most into how, while of course she can still make music from a place of heartbreak/pain/grief (put it in my veins), but that she's also able to absolutely fuck my shit up with songs about being in (happy, healthy) love — for example the gorgeous, cathartic "Bobby" (featuring inspired guitar cameos from Mike Kinsella of American Football and Justin K. Broadrick of Godflesh), which made me quietly weep this morning while walking my dog (This could be the end of wanting? Bye!).
There are so many incredible lyrics because she's Phoebe Bridgers, but the one stuck in the craw of my brain is surviving my gift until I get shot. Bruh. It strikes me that it’s the kind of album you make after age thirty, when that bitch Saturn done returned, things are still painful and the horrors persist (your father dies, you call off a wedding, fame is a knife, your house burns down1), but not only do you know now that you can endure it, you also know all that fuckshit comes with a heaping side of beauty and joy (and love). This is banal to say, but it is also true. You won't have to open a heart that's broken / Water's gonna flow in either way.
Anyway August is really the Sunday afternoon of summer, an ideal time for bittersweet music. You still have the thing but it’s slipping away and maybe that’s all you can think about (see: what makes a perfect summer song). Here are three other albums that fit this particular mood:
Hovvdy Big World
Woozy, catchy, yearning, sometimes upbeat, but then not, what can I say - I love hushed-voiced men in pain strumming their little sad guitars.
Power Snatch EP2
I’m so into Power Snatch, hayley Williams’ project with producer Daniel James. I kind of think she can do anything with those pipes, but this particular brand of mostly restrained, lightly menacing, occasionally trip-hop-adjacent indie rock just really tickles my fancy. I also love when Hayley pokes at spirituality and religion in her lyrics - there’s so much grist for the mill there I think for her in particular, and for me, a person preoccupied with God. There is certainly a through line of “r u ok” melancholy in this EP - What would I wear to my funeral? Saint Laurent from the thrift is a lyric from “NEW LEGS” - which qualifies it for this summertime sadness round up.
Oxis Oxis 9
I happened upon this album poking around my Spotify homepage this week (it came out in July) and it’s really hitting for me. Emotionally-bare indie-pop (is that a thing) with lots of guitar, glitchy beats, and really fucking cool vocals - it’s a yes from me dog. Also obsessed with her artwork which seems to be wholly preoccupied with fish and various marine life:
And last but not least, here is a 3 hour playlist of songs to cry to:
that one is sort of more me, sorry
The bit about August being the Sunday afternoon of summer… at once so casual, sobpoignant, and true!